My grandma was an epic journalor (If that is even a word. If is now). She wrote volumes over her lifetime. She chronicled everything from the mundane, "I watched Connie's kids this weekend"; to the life altering, "I have cancer on my face". She wasn't worried about being fancy or flashy. She was just trying to give us a sense of what filled her days. She wrote often. Sometimes daily but at least weekly. She shared her testimony of Christ, of service and of love. Reading them you really get to know her as a person...not just a grandma.

Over the years I have tried to be a faithful journal keeper. It's not something I find easy to do. I kept a blog for a number of years. I used it as my journal. As an added bonus, there are pictures to go along with my life stories. I had them printed and now have some nice journals. As you may know, my mom passed away ten years ago this month. Looking back on the blog posts from the first anniversary have been hard...but comforting. Looking back I can clearly see how hard it was at the time. Time has softened the edges and if it wasn't for my journal I might not remember the sharp pain of it and find comfort that it isn't so sharp now. 

I have an Instagram account that I add photos of my life to, with a caption to go with it. I have those made into books as well. All of the things I put on there will be preserved for my family to read and have when I'm gone. I love that my grandchildren will get to know me more personally by reading these little books. 

On Instagram I shared the journals I've been keeping for my grandchildren. I want to remember the funny things they say and the sweet and tender moments of our lives. I also want to be able to give the journal to them at a special birthday or their wedding...I haven't decided which. This is just something I'm trying to keep simple (I tend to get overwhelmed and stop doing something that feels too big). The journals for the boys are more elaborate. The girls are pretty simple for now. I am blessed to be able to spend a ton of time with these kiddos. So in the morning as I write in my prayer journal or read my scriptures I try to think back over the previous day and jot down anything that comes to mind. (Actually as I'm writing this I just remembered that Violet rolled over for us on Wednesday!) It can be as simple or as elaborate as I want for each entry. But mostly it just comes from the heart. 

My grandbabies are my life. It's strange, while I like being a mom, I never felt like I was super good at it. Ever. But this grandma's my jam. I'll share something with you that I haven't shared with anyone yet. My hubby and I were watching the Olympics the other night. This beautiful Russian girl was doing her skating routine. She was nearly flawless. It was thrilling. When she finished she was simply glowing. I was so caught up in her joy in the moment. I said to my hubby how remarkable it is that she is doing this. It's like she was MADE for this. How incredible to be able to do in this life the thing  you were made to do. In the next heartbeat a voice whispered to my heart..."So are you". And I felt with my whole being that that was true. I AM doing exactly what I was made to do. What I was brought to this earth to do. And all the doubt and guilt and pain was bringing me here. To help these little people love and be loved is why I'm here. They are why I keep journals. 

Even if you feel like you're late to the game...start. And be consistent. Choose a day. Maybe it will be your new Sunday thing. Maybe you have time in the carpool line at school. Carve out some time. As you do you'll never regret it. Write what comes to mind. You might  be surprised to look back at it and see how far you've come. <3 


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